It's not just physical... it really isn't! And this is something I've learnt first hand in the last couple of months. Nearly everyone with chronic pain suffers with depression and anxiety- don't believe me? Google is full of the facts- yet it seems that virtually no one is aware of the effects that chronic pain can have on you.
I get the phrase "atleast your not dying" quite a lot... and don't get me wrong I know this is said most of the time from good friends who are trying to reassure me and make me feel better but unfortunately the thought of being alive and the realisation that you are going to have to live in this amount of pain every day for the rest of your probabaly long life is scary, daunting and you just don't want to think of a future of endless pain.
Don't get me wrong, I'm very grateful to life I have most of the time, I'm thankful that I have an amazing family, great friends, a supportive school, a home, food and water. Which for some people is only a dream. But. And this is a big but, sometimes, and maybe it's just and hour of the day- maybe before I fall asleep that I really really hate the life I've been given, and that doesn't mean I'm going to give up and not go to school and not go and get a degree and not get a job and have a fulfilling life because I can assure you I am but for that little snippet of my day- this reality just isn't enough- some people may read this and think "drama queen much" and I don't have an answer because I have the same reaction to myself all the time! But you're allowed to feel sorry for yourself every now and then, your worst is the worst you've ever felt so that's pretty shitty for you.. you will never feel someone else's worst so don't judge them for it either.
What people need to realise is that yes "it could be worse" but also "it could be better"
